One day I will grow up

One day I will grow up:

One day I will grow up and not worry what others think of me.

One day I will be free

One day I will be brave and invite you out.

 If you say no, I won't take it personally

One day I will be me, I will be free

One day I will write a poem even when others say it’s just a waste of time

I will be me

I will dance and skip and sing with joy on a crowded beach
 alone with my Daddy in Heaven

One day I will be me

One day I will laugh and not stop. I will be free.

I will roll around on the ground and everyone will look at me

What is she doing? It’s communion. It’s sacrilege. It’s annoying. Stop her.
 What is she doing?
I’m being me. I’m being free. I didn’t grow up. I am God’s little girl.

Jesus winked at me

© Tavane Nelson,  Mar 10, 2015

How this poem came to be:

(This is the first poem I have written since my childhood)

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”

 Matthew 18:3

Sometimes as Christians, I think we are much too serious and self-conscious. We think we always need to have it together, and someday we will mature and arrive. God’s truths can be upside down. We need to come before God like little children who naturally depend on their parents with trust and faith.

About ten years ago I experienced what I think it meant to become like a little child. I was able to come to God just as I was with delight, dance, and laughter, filled with trust and faith. During those times I felt like God had given me a taste of what heaven would be like. It was all too fleeting. I basked in the warmth of God’s love, and I did not care what anyone thought of me. I struggle with words as there are none that can adequately describe this place of pure contentment. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and all self-consciousness, pretensions, feelings of shame, embarrassment, worries or concerns were entirely eliminated. Oh, if I could only have remained in that state of being! The very next day, all that humanness that gets in the way came back as I fretted over what on earth everyone must have thought of my behavior, especially since I was so ultra-reserved back in those days. But then, if every day was like that, we would be in heaven. Getting those little glimpses encourage me to press on until the day of Christ Jesus, when I will be with him forever. Until then, I will continue working towards being mature in Christ, through coming to him like a child.

Some people believe that being a Christian is all about rules and regulations that keep you from having fun and doing what you want. But the opposite is true. I am finding that the more I follow Him, the more free I become.

"Because of Christ, I am free. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed." John 8:36 

This photo of my daughter was taken March 2014, on Casey Key, Florida.

 The beach is made entirely out of seashells! Unfortunately there is no longer any
access, as someone has bought the land and has begun construction.