Dancing in Heaven

 The Dance of the Bride

Iolanda June 21 1932 - Sept 22 1999

 Her entire life was a whirlwind – always moving, never resting, always serving. On her last day at home, she was even more energetic than usual. The next day she was to have a kidney stone removed. She would be in the hospital for a couple of days and maybe not up to her usual self. There was so much to do! Being 67 did not slow her down one bit. After a frenzied week of cooking meals to stock in the freezer, she spent Sunday packing her suitcase, mowing the lawn, and cooking dinner for the family. She did slow down a bit, considering it a short cut to cook a roast with vegetables instead of the usual Sunday homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs. This was my mother-in-law, Iolanda. I even received leftovers to take home, as I always did. I was spoiled, and usually only had four days a week left to cook between the Sunday family dinners and leftovers packed for me to take home. Not to mention the frequent housecleaning she did at my house.

This was the last Sunday we spent with Iolanda. These are my memories of how she left us. They may be different from yours, but these are mine. All I know is that God is always at work, no matter what the situation. His perspective is not our perspective. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" God tells us in Isaiah 55:9. He knows from the beginning to the end, and we can't see the redemptive work while we are in the middle. All we feel is the pain. Looking back, it only makes sense now. Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

You see, God had been busy at work all along, making sure his precious daughter Iolanda would have a homecoming in heaven - where she would dance at the wedding feast as the bride of the lamb: where all believers will also join in – the bride of Christ, clothed in white.

There were so many examples of God’s divine intervention in that last year - here are just a few: Iolanda became inseparable with a family member from Sicily who had a deep faith in Christ and God. This brought my mother-in-law to a new level of relating to God. I remember one day she had to go to the hospital on her own to visit her husband, and she shared how frightened she was. We prayed, and the next day she told me that God had taken away all her fears. Another time Iolanda told me she had decided that she could pray to God on her own, and didn’t have to go through a priest. She could talk to God anytime she wanted!

  
At that last Sunday dinner, I was alone with my mother-in-law in the kitchen helping with the clean-up. I offered to pray for her. So we did the normal prayers against fears, for the operation to go well, and wisdom for the surgeon. I was done, but Iolanda stopped me: “Is that it? Shouldn’t I repeat something after you?” I guess she wanted to say a Hail Mary or something, but since I’m not Roman Catholic I didn’t know what to say.

So this is what I said in simple English as Italian was her first language:

                                          I’m sorry for all the bad things I've done in my life.

                                          I promise to try my best not to do them anymore.

                                          I know that Jesus died for me and my sins.

                                          I give my whole life to serve Jesus.

After each line, she prayed the same words after me, and the last line she said with such conviction and assurance. After the prayer, I said that as God had forgiven her through Jesus, she had to do one final last thing. She had to forgive others. What the offense was didn’t really matter. We all have those hurts in our lives that can only be healed through Jesus.  Iolanda was able to let many hurts go, but there was one she could not. I just left it alone and didn’t push it any further. At the hospital, everyone reassured her everything would be fine, and not to worry. In retrospect I wonder if that approach is wise, or if we in our human wisdom are taking away opportunities for people to get right with God.

At first the operation seemed to have gone well. On Monday, visitors came and went, and Iolanda was sitting up and eating. However, each new day brought bad news and plunged the family into a nightmare we couldn’t wake up from, until nine days later, we were unexpectedly saying goodbye to a beloved mother, wife and Nonna (grandmother).

During this process, everyone kept telling Iolanda that she would be fine. The day after the operation, she was placed in intensive care because her lung was collapsing. With each passing day, nothing the doctors did seem to work. Confused and weak, Iolanda wanted to know why she was still in the hospital after six days.

I had called my church prayer chain, and asked everyone to pray. By Saturday it became evident things were not looking good. Someone on the prayer chain said that it was important for my mother-in-law to forgive. I was shocked, as I did not know this person and had not given any details about Iolanda’s personal life to anyone at the church. I had just asked for prayer for her life.

Strengthened with this revelation, I did what God had wanted all along. I stood and held my mother-in-law’s hand on Saturday as she was being wheeled towards one last ditch surgery to repair her collapsed lung. She was scared as she waited, but I told her to make things right with God. I asked her if she remembered our prayer and conversation on Sunday in her kitchen. She nodded her head, with tears in her eyes. She could not speak because she had a breathing tube down her throat. However, she was able to respond and was fully conscious.

I asked her if she was able to forgive. And she nodded yes. I squeezed her hand, and they took her away, after family members had gathered around. That was the last time we saw her conscious. On Tuesday I sang Amazing Grace in the intensive care ward, by her bedside. The priest had just performed the last rites. Everyone was weeping as they said their goodbyes.

She was taken off of life support and died Wednesday at 4 a.m., September 22 1999.

Amazing Grace

How Sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found, 
 Was blind, but now I see.

John Newton, 1779

Thank God the story doesn’t end there.

Everyone was experiencing shock, disbelief and intense grief at the suddenness of a life taken away. My husband was inconsolable and would waken in the middle of the night unable to process his grief - until God gave him a picture of his mother. In the midst of grieving, God met Don in a special way. The next morning, Don was so excited and happy and couldn’t wait to share his vision. Grief and tears had been replaced by explainable joy and peace.

I didn’t understand the transformation. Everyone was amazed at my husband’s joy. He was so excited and happy, that he was even laughing while at the visitation in the funeral home. God used Don in a mighty way to share his vision with friends and family to bring them peace as well.

God had shown him a picture of his mother dressed in white and dancing at the gates of heaven. She no longer looked 67, but looked youthful and slim, at the height of her health. Iolanda was dancing with joy, peace and happiness before her heavenly Father.  She was home.

Back then Don wasn’t even aware of this bible verse:

Praise the Lord!

For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.

Let us be glad and rejoice,

and let us give honor to him

For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb,

and his bride has prepared herself.

She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.”

For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.

And the angel said to me, “Write this:

 Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Revelation 19:6-9

 

At the visitation I also shared with someone the prayer my mother-in-law and I had prayed before her surgery. The person was amazed. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see??” she said to me excitedly. “She did give her life. She did give her life! She gave her life to Jesus.”

Then it dawned on me and I made the connection to that last final line of the prayer. “I give my whole life to serve Jesus.” She had given her very life even though she may not have understood the fullness of her declaration. But God knew the beginning and the ending all along. He had His plans in place to bring his daughter home.Then and there I decided it was time to stop mourning, and come join in the dance of faith. Iolanda is home with her heavenly Father. She is no longer in pain. She has a new body. She is no longer blind and now she can see. She lived to serve others on this earth. And by her death, she leaves behind an invitation… 

Psalm 30:11

 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.